2009-2-5 11:30
Conan007
憨豆先生的笑话(英文版)
1) MR. BEAN SEES A DOCTOR :
Doctor          : I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr. Bean        : Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)
Doctor          : Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bean        : Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?
Doctor          : Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bean        : Because that proves that I have a brain!
2) MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:
Teacher        : What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean        : 9
Teacher        : What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean        : Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!
3) WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:
Mr. Bean        : I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk             : Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean        : Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!
4) AT AN ATM MACHINE:
Friend           : What are you looking at?
Mr. Bean        : I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend           : Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr. Bean        : four asterisks (****)!
5) MARRIAGE:
Friend           : How many women do you believe must a man marry?
Mr. Bean        : 16
Friend           : Why?
Mr. Bean        : Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4 worse.
6) CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND:
Friend           : How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?
Mr. Bean        : What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't see any picture.
Friend           : What tape did you take anyway?
Mr. Bean        : Head Cleaner.
7) DEATH OF HIS MOTHER:
Mr. Bean        undefinedcrying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.
Friend           : condolence, my friend.
(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder
Friend           : what now?
Mr. Bean        : my sister just called, her mom died too!
8) MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:
Colleague       : Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.
Mr. Bean        : That's alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.
9) SPELLING LESSON:
Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful....is it one c or two c?
Mr. Bean        : Make it three c to be sure!